Will love remain?
by crazy-stepsfan
Summary: Set in and around Holby City Hospital, all about Ben and Tony, disease and death, marriage and kids. Please read and review.
1. Family matters or does it?

Tony Vincent walked into Holby A+E not looking too happy. Thoughts were flying round his head. Why had Ben left so suddenly last night? Who was it that had called his house phone asking for Ben? And why did he get the feeling something terrible was going to happen? His brother Jack was sitting at reception and looked up when he heard the doors open he saw his brother's almost unemotional face and knew something wasn't quite right.  
  
Jack: Tony what's up mate?  
  
Tony: Nothing. Just Ben he .  
  
Jack: He what cheated on you again? Or has he done something nice for a change?  
  
Tony: What have you got against him anyway? And he's not cheating on me he's just gone missing. Have you seen him?  
  
Jack: Nope not since he punched you in the gob on new years.  
  
Tony: If I can forgive why cant you for god's sake? So you're sure you haven't seen him?  
  
Jack: Yep now go I've got a ton of work to do.  
  
Tony: OK if you do see him tell him I'm looking for him  
  
Jack: Sure thing  
  
Tony: Jack! Promise me you'll tell him!  
  
Jack: Yes I promise. Now bugger off Tony and stop worrying about that cheating scum.  
  
Tony: You're lucky you're my brother or else you wouldn't live to say that again!  
  
Tony walked off back out the door he missed working here but he'd still got a while before he was allowed back due to a back injury when he fell down a flight of stairs at home. Jack was convinced Ben had pushed him and nothing  
Tony could do or say was going to change his mind.  
Tony punched Ben's number into his phone keypad as he walked along the woodchip path surrounding Holby Park. He put the phone to his ear and heard Ben's familiar message telling Tony his boyfriend had turned off his phone.  
Why was he doing this? What had Tony done wrong?  
  
Ben walked into Holby A+E he needed to talk to Tony but he hadn't seen him since last night. Was he avoiding him? And why? He walked up to the empty  
reception desk and rang the bell.  
  
Jack: Yep be right there, Hello how can I . Ben. What do you want?  
  
Ben: I wondered if you'd seen Tony? I really need to speak to him.  
  
Jack: Nope not seen him today, or yesterday as a matter of fact. Sorry mate  
  
Ben: Well if you see him could you tell him I'm really sorry and I really need to talk to him before 5'o clock?  
  
Jack: Sure thing. Bye Ben. You best go.  
  
Ben: You will tell him wont you Jack, its really important.  
  
Jack: Look talking to you is very low on my list of things to do right now Ben so just go. And leave my brother alone!  
  
Ben: Jack! Please just tell him  
  
Jack: Just go.  
  
Ben: I'm going I've gotta get to work anyway.  
  
Jack: Yeah You go deliver your babies.  
  
Ben walks off in the direction of the maternity ward wiping away the tear  
that formed in the corner of his eye. He had to talk to Tony tonight.  
Before he left possibly forever. 


	2. Unconsciousness and loneliness

Ben trudged his way through work that day. Every now and then checking his watch. 6 hours till he left, he should talk to Tony soon, 5 hours where was he? , 4 hours he really needed to talk to him now, 3 hours to go .  
  
Lisa: Ben!  
  
Ben: yeah?  
  
Lisa: What's wrong Ben??  
  
Ben: Nothing I just . I don't feel well I think I'm gonna be sick  
  
Ben threw up all over the floor then fell to his knees in a coughing fit. His breathing became weak and stunted, Lisa called for help and Sandy and Mubbs came running in. Seeing Ben on the floor they ran over to him. Ben's  
mind was clouded he could make out dizzy shapes but no more, he knew  
someone was talking to him but he didn't have the strength to answer or  
even hear what was being said. He slowly fell into unconsciousness.  
  
When he woke up Ben was alone. He looked to his wrist for the time only to see the indentation his watch had left. What had happened he wondered to himself? Was his time running out sooner than the doctors told him? Lara  
stone walked into his cubicle Lara: Ben your awake it's nice to have you back you gave us quite a fright  
  
Ben: Why what happened? Where's Tony?  
  
Lara: He's outside getting some fresh air he's been here with you all day  
  
Ben: All day! How long have I been here?  
  
Lara: Since about half past two. You collapsed Ben after vomiting then you slipped into a coma and stopped breathing. Ben we found a considerable amount of drugs in your blood. The kinds that will make you sick were present in your blood stream. Can you explain their being there?  
  
Ben: My doctor gave them to me, I've been on them since I was 11 and they have never made me collapse before!  
  
Lara: Ben why don't we have any medical records with this information on?  
  
Ben: I don't know. Don't say anything to Tony please Lara.  
  
Lara: Tell Tony what?  
  
Ben: Thanks Lara.  
  
Tony sat on the steps outside of the hospital, writing Ben's name with his foot on the stone step. A familiar nurse called Anna came and sat with him.  
  
Anna: Lara sent me to tell you Bens awake.  
  
Tony: What. He jumped to his feet. Can I go see him?  
  
Anna: Yeah. But Tony, he's had major surgery ok be easy with him.  
  
Tony: Sure, thanks Anna  
  
Tony walked into Ben's room to find him asleep still. He sat by his bedside  
and waited for him to wake again. He looked so ill, so pale. 


	3. Diagnosed

Thanx for the reviews guys  
  
Tony felt Ben's hand move as he held it tight in his own. It woke him from his day dream he turned and saw Ben stirring from a dream of his own  
  
Ben: Tony?  
  
Tony: I'm here babes. I'm here.  
  
Ben: Tony I was looking for you. I'm sorry. Last night I.  
  
Tony: Not now. You rest you're not well. In fact you're lucky you're even here at all.  
  
Ben: Ok. What's the time?  
  
Tony: Um it's just gone eight why d'you ask?  
  
Ben: What! I need to go!  
He threw the hospital blanket off his bed and tried to get up but gave up as the pain became too much for him  
  
Tony: You're not going anywhere! Ben you're really sick.  
  
Ben: I'm not  
  
Tony: Ben you stopped breathing  
  
Ben: SO WHAT!  
Ben dissolved into tears as Tony tried to calm him down. What on earth did he mean "so what"? He could have died and he couldn't care less! He was just going to ask Ben what he meant when..  
  
Lara: Is everything Ok?  
  
Ben: (still choking on his tears) Yes  
  
Tony: NO! Everything is not OK and you know it Lara!  
  
Lara: Tony! What on earth are you going on about?  
  
Tony: What the hell is wrong with Ben?  
  
Lara: Tony, you and I both know that is confidential information. Now if you don't mind I want to talk to Ben. Alone  
  
Ben: Let him stay! He needs to know.  
  
Tony: I need to know what?  
  
Lara: Ben. We've been doing some tests and something's come up.  
  
Ben: Go on spit it out  
  
Lara: Ben it seems as though you have cancer of the oesophagus. That's your windpipe  
  
Ben: I know.  
  
Lara: We're going to do some more tests but.  
  
Ben: No! I mean I know I've got cancer. 


	4. Goodbye

Lara and Tony were shocked into silence. Ben looked at Tony as if to say he  
was sorry but no words came out his mouth.  
  
Tony: Ben. Why didn't you say something? Why didn't you .  
  
Lara: Ben this is a very serious condition you shouldn't have kept it a secret from us. We can help you Ben and it would have been easier if we caught it earlier.  
  
Ben: You can't help me. Now please I feel fine I really have to go.  
  
Lara: We'd like to keep you over night Ben to make sure and we can perform surgery to remove the cancer and implant a replacement windpipe. It's not easy but .  
  
Ben: No you don't understand you can't help me because in 2 weeks from now I'll be dead! That's why I have to go now.  
  
Tony: Ben. You're not. I mean you cant. Ben I love you, you can't die.  
  
Ben: I'm sorry Tony. Now I'd like to discharge myself if there is no medical reason why I cant go.  
  
Lara: Certainly.  
  
Tony: No you can't go! You have to stay and get better Ben  
  
Ben: Tony I'm not going to get better. Now I have a long trip and I need to make a telephone call so if you don't mind!  
  
Lara: I'll get Anna to fetch your things. If you're sure Ben?  
  
Ben: Positively  
  
Lara: Ok. ANNA  
  
Tony: NO! He is staying here. He is going to get better.  
  
Anna: Yeah. You called me Lara  
  
Lara: Yes. Can you go and get Mr Saunders's things please  
  
Anna: Sure.  
  
Tony: No! Anna don't!  
  
Anna: What?  
  
Lara: Go and get Bens things Anna  
  
(Anna Leaves)  
  
Tony: NO  
  
Ben: Tony! Please just let me go. I can't stand seeing you upset. I have to go  
  
Tony: Go? Go where?  
  
Ben: I'm going back to Scotland Tony. I need to be with my family.  
  
Tony: Scotland? But I, I'll never see you again!  
  
Ben: (tears forming in his eyes) That's why I have to go. It's easier this way, I promise. We're doing the right thing.  
  
Tony: (starting to cry) How can it be right when we're not together Ben? How can it be easier when I'm not with you? How am I supposed to live when your not here?  
  
Ben: I'm sorry Tony. I love you.  
  
Anna: Your things Ben  
  
Ben: Thanks Anna  
  
Lara: Ok then Ben. Safe journey I suppose um I'll wait out here while you get changed  
  
Tony: Yeah I best go too um don't leave yet will you I mean  
  
Ben leaned over to Tony and kissed his trembling lips holding his warm body  
close to his. He pulled him closer and whispered in his ear  
  
Ben: Goodbye Tony 


End file.
